Can't Love a Fallen Angel
by Hena
Summary: Maximum Ride is a hit singing sensation at 18, but then the unexpected happens. Who will be there in the end? Rated T Plus because I'm paranoid :
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, I really had an urge to write one of these… Um.. I hope you like it, because if you don't I probably won't continue then.**

Prologue:

"I watched Superman fly away," sang the glamorized girl on the TV who seemed to be in complete bliss singing her heart away. She was tall, and skinny with mid length blond hair that was dyed black on the bottom section of her hair. The crowds were raving, holding up posters, and singing along to the lyrics. It took a couple of seconds to realize that it was me, from a concert a couple of weeks before. My name is Maximum Ride, I'm eighteen years old and my life will never be the same. It has been exactly a day and sixteen hours and five minutes since the little fragments and pieces that held my life together broke through in a wave of grief. I couldn't even pretend that it wasn't true. Everything reminded me of what happened.  
I remember it all too clearly as I sit in my baggy sweats, my hair in a messed bun, and make up smeared all over my face inside my apartment room that was too big for one person. Last night was supposed to be fun. Last night was supposed to be amazing, since all the time I had was usually put into my career. He wanted to take me someplace special to relax. We dressed down and put on outrageous sunglasses, so no one would recognize us. Too bad they did, I watched him die. I saw him in the road. Paparazzi right on our tails. I could have reached out and grabbed him, and held him tightly against me. BAM! Went the pieces of my heart ripped from the inside out. Dead instantly. They told me he didn't feel much pain, but I know that's just a doctor who wanted me to sign a piece of paper for his daughter. 

He must be inheaven asking why I didn't reach out, why I didn't save him.  
But I can't answer that, because I'm still wondering the same things too.  
"Headline news with Michael Scott," Roared the T.V.  
"Superstar sensation Sam Adams dead after a freak accident from running from paparazzi with his newly found ex-girlfriend Max Ride," the reporter said bluntly sending a bullet in my heart, and bringing me back inside to the intricate laces of darkness that filled my heart once again. I clicked the T.V. off, and put myself into a ball, and tried my best not to cry. They'll never let me forget not now, not ever.

**Hena- 15 reviews?**

**Can you feel the emotion. I kind of meant for her to go out of order. You know, because she just wanted to get it out, before she launched into how it happened. Okay, you guys don't care stop throwing bananas I've had enough of those…**

**Song: Superman by Taylor Swift**


	2. Depression

**well here's the next chapter. Thanks for the positive reviews! Kept me going. Hope you like it :]**

I cautiously got out of the car, as if at any second paparazzi were going to pop out of the ground. Yep, it's still there, the excruciating way that my heart clenched whenever I was out in the open. To the media it's been a couple of months since the "tragic accident" happened. To me it's been four months, five days, and I know the hours, but I don't want you guys to think I've gone crazy. The truth is depression hits you like an uncontrollable wildfire, which keeps burning and burning until the very remnants of your mind are consumed by your fiery frustration. You can always try and mask the flames with a smile, but the embers are still hot and right out of nowhere can turn into a giant mess of fire. The funny thing is you tell people the reason why you're losing weight and your face is losing color is because you're not feeling well, but YOU know it's all a lie. Then at night you live it all over again, tears persisting even begging your eyes to be let out. Taunting them with the memory, but I refuse to bring myself so low.

I get rushed into the building by a group of body guards, which I usually can't stand, but today it made me feel safe. Now days I really seem to enjoy the feeling of being safe. Cynics, the critics, the paparazzi felt a mile away, however I knew they were actually just lurking in the shadows waiting to snap a winning picture. The building had the same business look as a couple months ago when I last entered it. Nothing about it made it seem inviting, especially the secretary, who glares at me when I walk in. There was only one flash of a company photographer, but I jumped like SCREAM had showed up behind me with a reaper ready to murder the remaining bits of my soul. Just like at _his _funeral. What has become of me? Am I really scared of what _he_ and I made fun of everyday? Why couldn't I even think his name without my disguise being shattered? Am I really that weak?

"Maxy, so good to see you," said my stuffy nosed manager Anne, who I know was probably only happy to see me because of the six digit price tag on my head. She motions me into her office, with a way-over-the-top smile that could make anyone's insides turn.

I nod uncomfortably, as the body guards disperse to waiting outside the door leaving me by myself. Her office has changed from before. The old beaten up couches have been replaced with what looks like top of the line sofas, and made it feel even less uninviting then the other parts of the building. Everything felt so pristine.

"Come on in," Anne said, closing the door behind me, and driving me to one of the spotless sofas. I reluctantly sat down.

"Okay, let's get down to business," Anne says losing her goody-goody act as she sat down across from me at her new hardwood desk. "Sam Adams was the best thing that ever happened to you," she claps her hands together and lets out sigh. I involuntarily flinch at how easily she said his name. Insensitive bitch.

"Number two! Number two on I tunes!" she squealed happily in a significant contrast to my mood about my sudden popularity. I mean how anyone could be happy that the only reason their sales spiked was because the media put out a whole story about the sorrowful death of one of America's brightest stars. Yeah, I saw it, my old PA tried to hide it from me, which pissed me off. I fired her the next day, yes I'm a bitch, bite me. She had given tons of information to the publisher about my relationship, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't only her. It had all the "details" of our relationship, and even a picture of mascara streaking down my cheek at the hospital. Front page about how "stupid" or how "brave" I was. The fan mail mostly consisted of sympathy, but some of them back lashed at me.

"You are back on track baby," she continued placing her hand on my shoulder. I was lost in reminiscing, that I didn't see her get up. I resisted the urge to shrug her hand off.

"Why did you call me here?" I asked deciding WTH and put my feet on her couch as I lay down. Her glare was wimpy, but I could tell she was trying to maintain her cool as she glanced at my feet.

"Why aren't you excited?" she wondered out loud, as she turned her back on me and went to rummage through papers on her desk.

This controlling (enter your preferable word or phrase).

"Oh maybe, because you're making it seem like my boyfriend's death didn't really mean anything, but a popularity booster. But you know, maybe I'm just oversensitive," I reply sarcastically. She reverted her eyes on me as if to say "someone's touchy."

Then her cell phone rings and she had a spazz attack answering it.

"Hello this is Anne Walker of WTS, speaking?" she regains her cool, and after a couple of seconds raised her eyebrows apparently liking what she was hearing.

"You want her today?" she asked smiling at me with an 'I'm going to be so rich' smirk.

"Let me check her schedule," she responded into the phone. I had a schedule? I get up and look out the big window, while Anne rants off in the phone.  
People were going about their lives, why couldn't I? Everyone else moved on. I put my hand on the window and imagine myself going off into the balcony and jumping off, but instead of hitting the ground I would snap my wings out and soar into the sky.  
"I don't think she's up for it today," I hear Anne say on the phone, probably referring to the bags under my eyes.  
I turn around so hastily that I surprise myself," No I'll do it." I say.  
Anne smiled slyly," No, actually she can do it today. Uhuh, okay at three? Chou."  
She puts down the phone totally content, but then looks up at me from her desk.  
"You need to go to see Lui now; you have a PR in three hours. I'll call him right now, so you better be there in ten minutes. I'll meet you at this address. You're doing a show for Mr. Tono." She's not smiling now as she examines my hair that I hadn't managed to keep up with. The black on the bottom half was somewhat faded and my blond roots were an inch long. She hands me a piece of paper with an address on it and retreats back to her desk.  
I stood there for a second soaking it in, trying my best to get my mind going since I haven't been doing this lately.  
Anne looks up at me from her papers," What are you still doing here? Out!" I walk out in a daze, feeling the presence of my body guards surround me like a membrane once again.  
I walk to my car in the gated parking lot; the body guards nod at me and take their leave. Except one of them stays behind to tell me he is sorry for my loss. Am I that pathetic?  
Even though money is not a problem anymore, I still drive around in my good for everything old buggy with a tricked out stereo system that I managed to afford after saving up my money one long summer.  
That car pretty much described my high school years. Not caring, and filled with music.  
Driving to Lui's was something that came as a second nature to me. I've been there billions of times since I got my record deal. Most of you probably know that getting dressed up is not my thing, or being tortured by eye-clamps/curlers of doom or the feisty looking straighteners/curlers ready to burn my hair off. Of course it had to be schmancy enough for Anne and low profile enough for me. Anne really hated my decision to go to Lui's store, but I wore her down.  
I pull into the hidden salon, behind a car dealer and get out. Lui was waiting for me outside.  
"Max! Mwa... oh we need to do something about dis air of yours." he mutters a greeting thick in an accent as he pulls me inside.  
"Joana, start de flats, and get de dye ready we zneed to zgetz her out a here in an hour," he commands with a snap of his fingers at Joana, and sits me down on the comfy chair.  
"Nothing too much, you know how I am," I say before he touches a single strand of my hair.  
"Ovf course not," he smiles at me, his brown floppy Italian hair covering an eye.  
I close my eyes and imagine myself in a different universe. With the occasional pull of a brush through my hair, I fall into a deep reverie.

Before I know it my sunny bliss is gone, Lui has me out the door and on my way to the interview. My hair is now back to normal except for the fact that it has little veins of blue going through it. It was pretty chill. Car rides give me way too much time to think. So when I see a girl pressed to her windows looking at me, when I reach a stoplight I laugh. I laugh as I remember how Sam use to make fun of how star struck people were when they saw us. I laugh as I remember our inside jokes. And I laugh when I remember that memory. He was driving and I was in the passenger seat. It was at this very stop light a couple of months ago when he had said," If they only knew the real us, they'd think we're so lame" He then smiled at me sheepishly, as I replied, "Well our lameness makes us cool." I remember that he had grinned his usual charming dimpled smile. "Well, I guess that would work for you," as he leaned in, his green eyes sparkling due to the casting of the sun, and kissed me square on the lips. I realized then that I loved him, and that I couldn't hide what I was feeling anymore. Not from him and not from myself.  
"I miss him," I say out loud, it's the first time I've said it. The words were sour on my tongue, making the car feel extra empty.  
The car behind me honked rudely ripping me from my daze back into reality.  
In a couple minutes, I pull into the amphitheater, not really ready to face the flashing lights just yet. I was wearing what I usually wore, my ripped distressed blue jeans and a red t-shirt with skulls embroidering the fabric. Yeah I'm punkish, you got a problem?  
Lui told me to lose the hat to show off my hairstyle, and practically confiscated it right off my head.

I'm greeted by a girl wearing a head set," Max, omg it's-," she coughed gaining composure, "I, I'm Brenda, and I'll be your new personal assistant starting today. Your makeup artist for today will see to you this way," she started walking down a corridor.  
I try to stop her by saying," Umm...Actually I'm already ready to go." Since Lui already did my make up for me like a couple minutes ago.  
"Okay, just a few touch ups then," she didn't seem to understand what I was saying, so I just went along.  
I sat down on the chair that had my name on it and the makeup artist started dabbing a pound of makeup all over my face, the girl, Brenda, told me that Mr. Tono's show was going to be a live event that was broadcasted internationally. No pressure, I thought scornfully.  
"Also Mr. Tono would like you to perform a new song, before the questions start. His preference according to him of course, would be a song that would be in your next album. Not only will it raise the number of viewers for his show, but also give you a great advertising moment," Brenda replayed shifting her weight to the other leg as she continued to write in her notebook.  
I put on a smile and thanked her for her work. As the makeup lady, Patricia, finished putting the final touches on my face, I hear a grumbly male voice call for Brenda. Brenda, the short but "spunky" Hispanic girl, blushed a deep pink. She ran out of the room without saying good-bye. Her black hair flailing behind her. I almost had the urge to yell "Where's the fire?"  
That's odd, however maybe I just forgot how cold the talent industry was.  
"Max you look beaut-i-ful," pronounced Anne coming in the room, she looks a bit puzzled when she enters. "Where's your PA (Personal Assistant)? Oh, it doesn't matter now. They need you." She said as I stood up and started to walk past her. She grabbed my hand and yanked me to her. "Just remember this is live; so if you mess this up your whole career, which means mine and your both, go up in flames." Her eyes narrowed in on mine, as she let go of my arm.  
I gulped in the sudden fury that had enveloped me. It wasn't going to get me anywhere in life if I rage against Anne I warn myself. I dully walked out, and go on stage, behind a door so the audience couldn't see me yet.  
There was a ton of commotion going on backstage as everyone made sound checks and made sure the lighting was just right. I sighed, ready to wish I was someplace else.  
I hear Mr. Tono welcoming the guest on his microphone, and the PA, Brenda, is back at my side.  
"You're going on in one minute!" she mouths at me giving me a giant smile. "What song are you going to sing?" she asks and all of a sudden I know what song I'm going to do. The song that I've been itching to sing, but was always taboo. I knew it all too perfectly. So when they called my name I promised myself no more surprises, no more old Max. Just me.

**What do you think that means? Fang in next chapter that's all I'm giving you. **

**15 inspirational reviews?**


	3. Chapter 3

"Ladies and Gentlemen please welcome our special guest, Max Ride!" boomed the voice cuing my entrance to the stage. It also caused ear splitting screams to echo from the audience.

I've been gone for too long, I think, as I push for an enticing smile to plant and root itself on my face as I finally walk in the view of the camera. An eruption of hoots go by as I nonchalantly laugh trying to look surprised about how pumped the audience is.

I would be if he was still here because I knew he would be backstage cheering me on. I mentally slap myself for being so weak, I need to be strong.

I walk up to the mike, feeling Nudge's gaze on my back. She is sitting at the drums, and is probably pissed at me for ignoring her, as well as the rest of my band, and basically the whole world for the past few months.

It's because I've never really was weak before, I mean I survived everything without falling into the depths of depression. Except this, this was entirely different to me. It was something I wasn't ready to experience with everyone watching all my steps.

Even when Jeb, the man my mom remarried, abused my mom and me, I still managed to make it through and survive without feeling weak. This made me feel weak, and I was sick of it, but I wasn't ready to involve my friends into my problems.

I gave an apologetic smile back at them before I spoke in the mike. 

"Thank you," I say, so the overwhelming crowd would calm down, but it only calls for another outburst of screams. I don't see how I deserve this reaction, especially when they're people who die saving the country who never got their fifteen minutes of fame. Nonetheless, I smile as if I won the lottery urging all the muscles in my face to obey me, instead of falter downwards.

I master my enticing smile on my face, feeling the muscles in my face straining to uphold it. For a second, I feel as if I made the wrong choice. It was too early for me, I haven't healed yet. I never thought I'd see the day when something I loved became my worst nightmare. A tension in my heart begins paining me mentally.

"They sound all hyped up on Kool Aid, what did you put in their water?" I direct the question to jokingly. Mr. Tono laughs and responds," Nope, this is pure fandom."  
Mr. Tono continues as I stand on stage with my band: JJ, Nudge, and Sam standing behind me. "So, what are you going to play for us, Max," sounding out the crowds' curiosity also.

"Well, it's a new song, that's going to be on my new album," I say, as I can see Anne shooting daggers at me. She doesn't even know what I'm going to sing, and then I probably smiled the most genuine smile that doubtlesslycame upon my lips this whole day.

"Could you tell us some more info," Mr. Tono presses as I wave him off. "I was getting to that part," I shooed at him. I face the crowd preparing myself to lie or at least give half the truth.

"Well, this song is for anyone whose felt alone, or is missing someone. It's called When You're Gone," I say walking over to the piano, and sliding my hands over the keys.  
"Enjoy," I nod to my band, before Mr. Tono can oblige.

_I always needed time on my own  
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry  
_  
I never cried in front of Sam, in fact I didn't cry ever. I'm not saying I was never close to crying, I'm saying that the tears never fell out. The only time I actually cried is the first time my step dad smacked me down to the floor. This was after he drank his soul away to tequila after lost his job as a scientist for immoral use of animals in his experiments.

I was six, and my mom had left on a trip to a vet somewhere far away, so I was left alone in the small house with _him_. He threatened me, still drunk at the time, that if I ever told anyone he would put me on "the table" and use me as a part of his experiment. Then he laughed drunkenly stuttering all the same," Let's see what PETA does then."  
_  
And the days feel like years when I'm alone  
and the bed where you lie is made up on your side_.

It hurts to think about it, all the years that he's been with me just makes it a lot harder. Every day he was out on tour in a different city than me, made it felt like a week had gone by when it was actually just a day. Now I have to deal with him being gone permanently. It just feels like forever since I've seen him.

_When you walk away I count the steps that you take  
Do you see how much I need you right now?_

I need him, to get me through my past, through the present, and even through the future. Three steps were all it took for you to get taken away from me, and my hopes of escaping.__

When you're gone  
The pieces of my heart are missing you  
When you're gone  
The face I came to know is missing too

I look into the crowd to see them waving their hands making the illusion of an ocean pop up. The ocean, is where Sam and I spent most of our days together. Either just chilling out on the beach or taking some small motor boat into the bay.

At this point there are some people starting to tear up, which I find completely pathetic.  
You don't have the right to be sad when I'm the one who's hurting. I'm the one who should be able to cry, not them. I take it all back as soon as I think it. What have I become? A selfish monster?

I unattached the mike from the piano in a steady movement, letting Gazzy take over on his electric keyboard. I'm glad the mike didn't emit feedback, as I stand up. While singing I make my way over to the front of the crowd.__

When you're gone  
The words I need to hear to always get me through  
The day and make it ok  
I miss you

After singing the last note of "you" I sauntered over to Nudge, who was to my left, and began singing again.  
Nudge had been my friend for about just as long as he had been my boyfriend. I met her through Anne probably the only really good thing that had come out of my so called agent. It was definitely weird how we clicked right away, even though we were so different from each other. Hey, I guess opposites attract?__

I've never felt this way before  
Everything that I do reminds me of you  
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor  
And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do

Nudge's brown eyes soften brilliantly matching her skin. She thinks she understands what I'm going through. I know she hasn't fully forgiven me. A bell in my head rings, reminding me that I haven't done a lot of things. I haven't even got around to throwing his clothes away. Or even touching them as a matter of fact. They're still there, all spluttered around the floor in his apartment, that I've been paying for ever since... Well, you know. His whole apartment reeks of his warming scent, and it makes it hard to believe he's actually gone.__

When you walk away I count the steps that you take  
Do you see how much I need you right now?  
  
I walk towards Gazzy and Sam now and gently touch them on the shoulders. They smile in return, so I know they weren't mad at me and they actually kind of understood or they're just boys and forgive like no other. Yes, I'm sexist against boys. I stride to the front now, belting out the words, by now the crowd has caught on, and started singing along.  
_  
When you're gone  
The pieces of my heart are missing you  
And when you're gone  
The face I came to know is missing too_

And when you're gone  
The words I need to hear to always get me through  
The day and make it ok  
I miss you

We were made for each other  
Out here forever  
I know we were, yeah

Sam, we were made for each other. I choke out the first word of the next line, and cringe at my mistake.__

And all I ever wanted was for you to know  
Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul  
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me, yeah.

I need you. I miss you. Please come back.__

When you're gone  
The pieces of my heart are missing you  
And when you're gone  
The face I came to know is missing too

And when you're gone  
All the words I need to hear will always get me through  
The day and make it ok  
I miss you

I put the mike away from my face, at the moment feeling a bit breathless in the grave quiet, but only for a second.  
"Wow, you heard her folks," Mr. Tono relinquishes as an onslaught of cheers come from the crowd. "Amazing, that was Max Ride's new single When You're Gone, that we are hopefully going to see in your album is that correct?"  
"Thank you," I say to the crowd," And yes, it will be in my next album yet to be named." I rehearsed smiling at the crowd, and then looking back at Mr. Tono.

"Okay, folks stay tuned, next up will your questions to Max Ride, and a special surprise after these short announcements," and then the LIVE light flickered off, and I relaxed, as I walked over to Mr. Tono in the seat.

Mr. Tono goes out to get a quick smoke, but not before commenting how amazing my voice had grown stronger then the last time he heard me sang. I thank him with a smile, and seeing Anne eyeball me, I decide to sign some autographs in the front. It usually made me happy to see so many adoring fans, but today it just made me tired.

"Your song is now my new favorite song, you're so amazing," said a little girl about the age of seven. "My brother's here also," she says dimpling.  
"Oh," I say scribbling my name on a piece of paper that had my face on it. "Yeah, I made him bring me along, since I wanted to meet you."  
Her blonde ringlets and big blue eyes made her look angelic. I smile," What's your name?"  
"Angel," I laugh at the irony and write "To the angelic Angel" on the paper.  
"See you," I say moving onto the next girl.

Not before long, I was called back up to stage, by one of the ushers. My band was now probably in the back waiting for me to the join them in a short while.

"Welcome Back!" Mr. Tono stares into the camera. "We just heard Max Ride sing her new single, When You're Gone. Here's a quick recap," he says smiling. The camera now is pointing to a flat screen that shows the highlights of my song. I smile as they bring it back to focus on us.

"Very emotional," Mr. Tono commented looking at me. "What inspired you to write this song?"  
I decide to bullshit the answer," One of my friend's boyfriend recently enrolled into the military, and one day she called me up and told how she just found out she was pregnant. So it got me thinking about her emotions and how I would feel if something like that happened to m-" I choke on the last word.  
Mr. Tono catches my drift and asks another question. "Are you planning on touring any time soon, since you've been on break?"  
My eyes wander searching for Anne to tell me, but then I decide I can make my own decisions.  
"Yeah I'm actually plan on going on one soon," I state happily. Then I frown, and scrunch up my forehead as I see Mr. Tono look behind me. I'm almost certain they're going to dump a bucket of water on me.  
"Is there something I don't know about," I ask looking at him dubiously as he rubs his hands together.

"Audience, please welcome Fang Night everybody!" What did I get myself into; all the girls went CRAZY! They started screaming so loud that it almost broke my eardrum. I override my temptation to cover my ears. Who the hell was Fang Night? Was I gone for that long? And seriously whose parents would be cruel enough to name their child Fang?

I acted shocked and jumped out of my seat, and I turned around to see a whole 6 foot emo looking guy looking down at me.

Analyzing, and observing me, while managing to keep a smirk on his face for the crowds. It made me feel too exposed, and a bit jealous about how he could smile so freely.

Tono got up too then, and walked in between us. We just stared at each other. The crowd dyed down, and "Fang" and I looked at Tono willing him to explain.  
"Okay, we thought we would do a double interview with the two hottest teen stars today," he says smiling as someone in the audience trying to be cool yelled "WOOHOO!" I laughed, as Fang cracked a grin on the screen.  
He knew all too well how this industry worked, I thought.  
"How does that sound?" Mr. Tono asked as if there wasn't an interruption.  
"Sounds cool," Fang said putting his hands in his pockets and sitting on an arm of the red miniature sofa.  
"Very," I say sarcastically while I eye him; god the girls in the front row were giving me death glares.  
"So who's the better singer?" Mr. Tono jokes. I glance over to Fang and back at the crowd and smile indignantly.  
Mr. Tono looked at me to Fang," She definitely challenging you."  
Fang looks up at me from the sofa again and sneers," I'm not worried." As he grins a little polished dimple appearing on the side of his lips. Fuck there goes my ears.

Avril Lavigne- When You're Gone.

Hope you liked it! Review, and subscribe and join the FB page: Maximum Ride Fanfiction :]

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